MOTHER
Ramii Studio x I Love Avondale
All Goods | June 14 - July 8, 2023
The overarching theme of this photo essay is motherhood. Within this body of work sits the mother-daughter relationship. As a self-proclaimed daddy's girl, many of my heralding moments have been with or involving my papa. Only after living away from my parents for 13 years did I begin to understand how much I had taken my mother for granted. 8,891 km separates us, but she is always close to me, for I am my mother in many ways.
The word motherhood may sound singular on the tongue, but there is not just one definition. When I think of the word, I look to my mother's journey of raising two girls who were a decade apart. I see her difficult path of trying to find a place of belonging in 80s Christchurch while also meeting the expectations of a women’s role at the time. I think of my mother being a soundboard for all my life turmoil, only becoming more poignant as I get older. Was she okay? I wish I had asked - I do now. I say thank you. I cherish, I value, and I love my amma. I also see the word motherhood shifting in meaning for me as my journey to its experience becomes clearer.
As I started meeting and photographing the families you'll see in these portraits, I became very aware of the lifelines entwined into Avondale. Generations of families have walked the paths of this land, creating an intricate web of stories, lifetimes and legacies. I enjoyed witnessing the anchor Avondale has provided to the families that inhabit this space. Every inch of this place is alive and drips history. Avondale is more than a suburb or neighbourhood; it is home to opportunity and connection while being a thriving hub of diverse heritage and culture. What a beautiful place to call home.
To the mothers that I had the honour of photographing. Thank you for letting me into your lives and not only showing me but sharing with me your definition of motherhood. Our time together may have been brief, but so much story is written when you look into my lens. Through you, I have seen strength, power, kindness, dedication, courage and, most of all, love.
You have given me more than you know.
Abhi Chinniah
Simone
Our story in Avondale began in 1968 when my grandparents bought land on Mead Street. In 1969 he built this house. Our bloodline has lived in this house ever since, almost like our generation's backdrop.
My mum and her five siblings went to Rosebank Primary, Avondale Intermediate, and Avondale College. Today my parents live on Esmeralda Avenue, where they purchased a home in 2002. My uncle has purchased a home on Mead Street, also. We are Avondale through and through.
My best memories with my daughters in this neighbourhood are their first daycare and primary school days. They each are so different yet so similar. A core memory I’ll always cherish with them is walking to and from my parents' house to my nanas on Mead Street. Each time, they are greeted with a delicious treat from my nana. Family lunches at my nana's house are another highlight. We still gather there today for every occasion.
Avondale has weaved into my experiences with motherhood. To me, motherhood is a gift from God that I am blessed to have. This gift also means “home” - we mamas are the glue that holds our families together. We are strong “multi-taskers” and a safe space for our babies when needed. Motherhood is part of my identity that I proudly wear every single day.
My hope for my daughters is that they grow up unapologetically knowing and understanding where we come from. I want them to know the strong line of women who have come before them and represent them.
I want them to live in every moment and be grateful for every day they have on this earth. I hope they laugh as loud as they want, love just as hard, and, whatever it is they choose to be later in life, that they stand firm in their self-belief and inspire others around them.
Ning
No one prepares you for motherhood. It is tender, funny and raw, sometimes all at once. Motherhood bends time: it shows you the coordinates of your past and how you fit into the long line of your ancestors. It also helps you see into the future, into the tomorrows of tomorrows that the next generation will inherit. You don’t need to be a mother to experience motherhood. All you need is the desire to leave behind something better than what you found.
When I think of my son’s future and our family’s future in Aotearoa, I see Avondale, resplendent with her colourful people, her traffic-stopping Sunday market and her iconic town spider with occasional sneaker hanging off her web. I treasure the simple pleasures of everyday life here. Our evening strolls to the Whau River, Pokémon cards from the two-dollar shops, and the friendly library that feels like a second home.
Avondale is the most welcoming neighbourhood I’ve ever lived in, and I’m thankful to be able to build a life here. The longer we live here, the more my memories of Avondale will intertwine with my memories of being a mother. Seeing my child grow up here alongside his peers, my biggest hope is that they get to enjoy a good life and are joyful and secure in who they are. This neighbourhood has nourished generations and will continue to nourish more. Our diversity is our strength as we step in this new phase of transformation.
Ann
Becoming a mother is a life-changing event. Going into motherhood, I chose to put my career as an installation and performance artist on the back burner and became a stay-at-home mum. When my daughter Manuka was 18 months old, our family moved from Viet Nam to Aotearoa New Zealand. Initially, we lived on Great Barrier Island, a place Manuka fondly called “paradise” as it has sandy beaches and the tranquillity of rural life.
Our life in Avondale started in 2018. We love this neighbourhood, especially its creative vibe. Many people we know in our community are involved in some creative practice.
While I no longer practise art, I am happy that Manuka has inherited my creative genes. Together Manuka and I enjoy watching the productions at Avondale College. She loves arts and performance as much as I do. Manuka currently goes to Avondale Primary School. I am filled with great joy and pride whenever I see Manuka perform. Watching my daughter and her friends on stage, I see my young artistic self in them.
My hope for Manuka and her generation is that they hold onto creativity. I want to see more comprehensive cultivation within creative sectors for school-aged children. Art is how we tell our stories as a society and create conversations about what is important to us. Art is how we view the world and make sense of complex issues and experiences.
As Manuka is now settled in at school, I have returned to study for a psychology degree. The highlight of my days in Avondale is our walks to school with her friends. Our walks are a good time to catch up with other parents in the area. Sometimes, us parents end up going for coffee at Taste Cafe opposite Avondale Primary.
Manuka and I share a strong bond. She once told me, “My heart is too small to love the world”. What she said stuck with me because I know as this magnificent girl grows, so too will her heart, and in her heart, she will find the space to hold all the love in the world.
Pusi Urale
Note from Abhi: Pusi was 84 at the time of this interview. What a terrific person. She touched me so deeply.
We moved from Wellington to Auckland in 2010 and have been living in Avondale for 12 years. It took us a while to get used to this suburb. My deep connection to it grew from going for long walks with my husband, who was in a wheelchair. We learnt to appreciate all the beautiful things that Avondale offers, like its rich and diverse culture, many great parks, and, best of all, the Avondale Market every Sunday.
My journey in motherhood spans three generations - I am a mother to six children and, through them, a grandmother to 17 grandchildren and great-grandmother to great-grandchildren.
Motherhood means nurturing to me and experiencing new ideas in life. I encouraged my children to go flatting early to get life experience, gain independence, and hopefully find their own place and belonging in the world. Nowadays, I encourage young people to be passionate and try new things.
My best memories with my family in Avondale are having meals together. Talking and laughing together are precious moments, especially at my age. Just seeing my grandchildren puts a smile on my face every single day. They love to laugh, tease, and play, keeping me entertained.
The most important thing for me is for my grandchildren to be happy in whatever they choose to do. I hope they will always strive for happiness and not material things. It would be nice if they could make a positive impact on our planet.
Maria
On being asked “What does motherhood mean to you?” Out of interest I google-searched the meaning which, put simply said 'the state of being a mother'. For me this state includes pregnancy, the births of my 3 children and their lives up until now and until I'm no longer here. Through motherhood I became aware and experienced perhaps the strongest form of love - unconditional love.
Being a young mother certainly came with challenges and the inexperiences of life, which sometimes resulted in my making mistakes and choices that were perhaps not the most ideal for my son and daughter. However, as I had been priviledged enough to inherit great paternal love and beautiful values from my parents, my children also had this infinite love, empathy, strength and support which carried on through their childhoods and is being passed on to my mokopuna throughout their developing years.
Motherhood at 19 years of age and 21 years of age was quite different to being a mother at 44 years of age and in a foreign European country away from whanau and friends. Motherhood at 44 gave the words 'tired' and 'resilience' a whole new meaning but also brought a mature and more balanced understanding to raising my youngest son.
My daughter introduced me to live in Avondale in 2010 when she and her partner and my first granddaughter bought a house here, having moved from Wellington. Her older brother and partner followed soon after, and I found a small cottage for sale about 200 metres in the same street. More babies followed for both families, and my love of gardening flourished on what was a property devoid of any plants or trees. How wonderful it was to be able to just go out of my gate and walk down to where my daughter and her 3 daughters were living …. there were always family gatherings there or at her brother's with barbeques, good food, outdoor fires, music, dancing and laughter, with cousins playing and my youngest being the fun uncle.
I have 6 mokopuna with my eldest now 15 years and my youngest 3 years with their two families having moved from Avondale some years ago while my youngest son still has a connection to Avondale through friends and business.
There have been many changes in the neighbourhood, people leaving, new people arriving, high-rise accommodation development, more people struggling with life's hardships, the cost of living and a general feeling of struggle. The world is a different place to when I first moved here, but as with time immemorial, there's always change. I have such admiration for those people who are helping with community projects in Avondale and feeding and assisting people who are in need.
I am extremely grateful for my life, and it's rewards and can only wish for true happiness for my children and their children – that they lead a good and healthy life, celebrate their unique gifts and strengths, don't compare themselves to others, show gratitude and empathy, but also have fun and take some risks!
Catalina
I'd describe my relationship with my mother as caring and respectful.
Over the years, I've enjoyed witnessing our relationship becoming more mature. As we both grew as people, our connection only strengthened. As a daughter, I saw myself shift from rebellious to more understanding and grateful to my mother. For mamá, I think she has become more open with me as I've gotten older. This openness is something I appreciate.
Ironically, my best memory with my mother in Avondale was the day after Cyclone Gabrielle. We wanted coffee, so we decided to visit Browne Street Cafe. We'd parked across from the cafe, and the wind was so strong we could barely cross the road. The wind was gusting through our hair and beating on our skin. In the chaos of it all, we laughed! It was like a sudden break from the stress of the cyclone, and realising we were here together in this moment made it so memorable.
The best lesson my mother has taught me is how to be kind and considerate of others. The biggest lesson she taught me was commitment and always showing up. If there were only three words left in the world that I could say to her, it would be: I love you.